Weird TV shows
by aqua-child1
Summary: What if the pilots were given their own tv shows?
1. Story Time with Leena!

Disclaimer: I do not own Megami Kouhosei

*Happy music plays in the background, and annoying bright lights shine on a nicely decorated set, with adorable, fat children in the audience.*

Leena: Hi and welcome to Story time with Leena!

Leena: I'm Leena and everyone just loves me!!!

A few coughs and hacks are heard in the audience.

Leena: *looks around* Ahem, anyways *smiles sweetly* today's story is the three little candidates and the big bad Rio!

*audience cheers, whistle, and other stuff*

*camera turns to another stage and three card board cut out houses that look like someone had just beaten are seen*

Leena: Once upon a time there were three cute little candidates, Zero, Hiead, and Clay.

*Clay, Zero, and Hiead appear*

Leena: They built these houses made of cheese, chocolate, and cookies.

Clay: Hmmmmmmmmmm………. I don't think a house can be made out of cheese, chocolate, and cookies, but if it can be made, I think that would be very interesting *pushes up glasses with his middle finger*

Lady in the audience: Oh my gosh!!!!! He just flicked us off *covers her child's eye with one hand and point to Clay with the other*

Leena: Um……..Clay, please don't do that.

Clay: What? You mean this *does it again*

Lady in the Audience: He just did it again!

Leena: Yeah that, just don't do that.

Clay: okay

Leena: Ahem! Anyways, there also lived a wolf-like person who loves to eat named Rio.

*Rio enters while stuffing cheese nips into his mouth*

Rio: Grrrr……..*stuffs more cheese nips* I AM HUNGRY!!!! Ooooooooooo look a house made out of cheese *points excitedly at the poorly colored house that was suppose to be made out of cheese*

Clay: Hmmmmmmmmmm………….He seems to think that house really is made out of cheese, how very interesting *pushes up glasses with middle finger*

Lady in the audience: HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!! HE'S TEACHING BAD THINGS TO OUR KIDS!!!!!

Clay: Don't worry about it, kids only have an attention span of what 2 seconds?

Kid in the audience: Lookie, mommy I can hold up my middle finger! *holds up middle finger*

Fat man in the audience: THIS ISN'T RIGHT, THEY CAN'T TEACH THOSE BAD THINGS TO OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!! GET THEM!!!!!!!!

*all the adults light torches and somehow find pitchforks and goes after our beloved……umm………….main characters*

Rio: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE GOING TO GET US *grabs cheese nips and runs away*

Leena: Well…….um……..that's our show!

Stay tune for Weird and Abnormal Stuff with Teela!

Well………that was sorta pointless, this is my first time writing fan fiction, so I would like reviews and flames are more than welcome. And I know, the characters were a little OOC, but I'm working on that.


	2. commercials

Military marching music plays in the background and Azuma appears.

Azuma: Parents are you tired of your kids? Do you just want them out of your house?

Or are they just plain annoying? Well I know just the right thing to do with those little _angels_ *evil grin* For a small fee for the testing you can send your children to G.O.A, Goddess Operation Academy! 

*shows a clip of the outside of G.O.A*

Azuma: Here at G.O.A, your kids will train to become pilots! And it's a guarantee that your kids will be well disciplined or will not come back at all! Now isn't that just great!?

So call now to send your kids to outer space where they will be well-trained or not come back at all.

Parent: Before I sent my kid to G.O.A. Things were like this

*shows clip of a boy throwing a huge party without chaperone and the parents just walks in*

Parent: And now that sent him to G.O.A

*shows clip of boy being forced into a ship that says G.O.A

Boy: I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN I PROMISE!!!!!!!!! *cries* *gets kicked into the ship*

Parent: I haven't seen him since!

Azuma: so call now! It's 1-800-kidshateithereandthefoodisbadtoo


	3. Weird and Abnormal Stuff with Teela!

Disclaimer- I do not own Megami Kouhosei

*creepy music plays in the background and fog appears, wavy letters that spell Weird and Abnormal Stuff appears*

Teela: *monotone creepy like voice* Welcome to Weird and Abnormal Stuff, I'm Teela and today we'll be investigating a person who claims that rabid, vampire bunnies attacked him.

*camera changes to a perfectly normal looking house*

Teela: *still in monotone creepy like voice* We are at the house where the attack began…

*walks in house*

Zero:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Teela: Um……We're here to interview you about the attack…

Zero: O.O *nervously* What attack?! There was no attack!

Teela: Weren't you the one who called us and claimed that you were attacked by rabid, vampire bunnies?

Zero: YES! I did, do you know why? Because my mom won't believe me. The cops don't believe me, and that leprechaun doesn't believe me! *points to a wooden leprechaun*

Teela: Umm……… Okay, where did you see this rabid vampire bunny?

Zero: I was in my room…….And then it happened. This rabid vampire bunny attacked me!!!!! But then I fought back! *relives the incident* I punched him! *punches wall* And I kicked him *kicks a what looks like a priceless, one of a kind vase* Then I bit it *bites a sandwich* Mmmmmmmmm………………… yum.

Teela: -_-; Was that really necessary?

Zero: I was hungry.

Teela: Did this rabid vampire bunny bite you or leave a scar?

Zero: Um……..yeah *shows a scar on his leg* Oh wait that was from that one time I fell off the refrigerator.

Teela: What were you doing on top of a refrigerator?

Zero: *holds stuffed bunny plushie* It told me I can fly *runs around in a circle squawking and flapping arms*

Teela: This is new……

Zero continues to squawk and flap arms

Teela: I'm starting to think that this whole story was made up.

Zero: You don't believe me? O.O

Teela: no

Zero: This bunny here *holds up bunny plushie* believes me, don't ya?

Teela: umm…..Isn't that the same bunny rabbit that told you can fly.

Zero: This bunny is my friend! *pats bunny* 

Teela: Do you have any other friends?

Zero: Friends? Yes, I do, *points to wooden leprechaun* that's my other best friend!

Teela: ……………

Zero: Wanna be my friend?

Teela: uh……..no

Zero: T-T

Teela: Well it's been a pleasure really, but I'll be going now.

The bunny plushie suddenly comes to life. It's eyes glows red.

Demon possessed bunny plushie: *evil childish like voice* You can't leave…….We'll all become good friends………And you'll stay here forever.

Teela: *piercing scream* 

Teela: HOW?! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU'RE ALIVE?!

Demon possessed bunny plushie: *sing song like voice* I'll never te-ell…….*laughs evilly*

Teela: Oh my gosh. I gotta get out of here!

Zero: You'll never get to leave……We'll all become friends…And jump off huge buildings……..Lalaalalalalalalalala……….

Demon possessed bunny plushie: *sings* We're so happy…….happiness…….You'll never leave.

Teela: *nervously* Well that wraps up our show……….SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!!! *gets backed up in the corner*

Suddenly, these people in white breaks down the door. 

Person in white clothing: We're from the insane asylum, and you two are coming with us *points to Zero and bunny plushie*

Zero: More friends…………

Demon possessed bunny plushie: *sings* We're going to have more friends.

Person in white clothing: *grabs them and puts straitjackets on them* We'll be leaving you Ma'am *carries them out to the insane mobile( I have no idea what it is called)

Teela: Well….That's all for Weird and Abnormal Stuff, I'm Teela and I'm glad I'll never see those two again.

Later on

The insane asylum is on fire

Demon possessed bunny plushie: Let's go find our friend……..

Zero: Yes, our new friend…….

*both of them leave to find Teela*

I know….. Teela and Zero were OOC. The quote: "I'll never tell" belongs to this one movie. And the demon possessed bunny came from the game Alice in Wonderland, the freaky one that my friend showed me. Review please! I accept flames and criticism!

^.^


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